So Much Of Not Enoughh

this is a swedish band called Neverstore.
theyre really quite amazing

a stranger to some but a vision to none...

...can never get enough, get enough of the one

i've been waiting for a moment
that's actually worth the talk.
oh dark wings dont fail me now.
my wings aren't used to take me high,
let me fall from the sky.
would you catch me if i fall?
if i could trip, fall and lose it all.
i'd do it all for you,
because the butterflies tell me to.
you wonder why my face gets red,
and when you ask i shake my head.
i can practically hear my heart race,
you're my perfect escape embrace.
it's raining blood,
it'll all flood.
and when i need to keep afloat,
your just my little rescue boat.
and when it all goes to hell,
you caught me when i fell.
too bad the boat has to sink down,
and let our love drown.
you can't buy me love
you can't buy happiness
you can't buy me life.
why is it that only i see you?
but you can't see me.
you saved me. You saved me.
YOU SAVED ME.
you steal my pain i steal yours.
let's call it even.
sealed with a kiss,
i'll be your best kept secret
and your biggest mistake.
and when it all goes to hell,
remember the day the dark angel fell.

.for a fortune he'd quit but it's hard to admit how it ends and begins.
.on his face is a map of the world.
-From Yesterday by 30 Seconds to Mars is the bold stuff and the title.
my dad moved out, i cried.
my mom thinks i should see a shrink.
apparently i need help...
who doesnt??
it's been a while, but i can't type much because my finger was sliced on a guitar string.
hope lifes better for everyone else.

.Dont.Live.A.Helpless.Life.
.Death.Of.Beauty.

forgive me i'm trying to find...

...my calling i'm calling at night

today i walk on broken glass,
burning coals and urchins.
today i hear the first hailstorm in about a year.
but it's all fine for me.
my heart is still learning,
i can't take your yearning.
but you keep me waiting,
just wait.wait.wait.
like the brokenhearted whose name is being called,
but it's only her echoing.
like the dial tone on the other end of the line.
spare me the sickness,
misery is contagious.
it's all porcupine love.
i'm walking the line between what's there and what isn't.
figures the side i fell was the one with no end.
i'm scared to go to sleep in fear of what i dream.
make a dreamcatcher that actually works,
that way i can replay them.
cast me your wishes,
i'll make them your dreams.
i'll make me your dream...
i wish.

.i dont mean to be a bother but have you seen this guy?.
the title and bolded lyrics are from Remembering Sunday by All Time Low
my dads gone tomorrow night
i passed his (old) room and saw his clothes sprawled everywhere.
suitcases half packed.
trying not to cry, i'm writing this.
let this blog remain mostly secret,
because an escape from reality is better when reality doesn't follow you there.
(concerning one certain person, stop reading this)

.Let.It.All.Out.
.Death.Of.Beauty.

goodnight, goodnight...

misery
loves
misery.
misery
loves
me.
therefore
i
am
misery.
i
love
misery.
misery
loves
company.
i hate being misery when there's no company?
...some company please?

randomnesssss <333
i am bidding most of you farewell,
unless i don't like you,
then i'm just lying.

walking alone on a dead end street, i'm going far but still not moving...

...i'm waiting for someone to take me away

i'm in love with our month old tree carving.
let's stare some more.
hold my cold, calloused finger.
i need the warmth and smiles of a happy person.
my inner child is the scared one.
will you be my harlequin?
no daredevil would enter my mind.
it's so cloudy and out of focus,
you wouldn't be able to see what's right from wrong.
see words and quotes swamping the view.
life isn't always sunshine and rainbows.
i think he's my harlequin.
love never happens for a reason.
here she comes, do you see her face?
she's the broken and torn soul.
and it's all your fault.
now aren't you proud you're the one that made me?
i will find my harlequin.
it's just a pity that the love we shared,
was just a nightmare before i fell asleep,
a foreshadowing of the past, present, and future.
i would bid you farewell,
but i'd just be lying.
i guess you're not my harlequin.
no daredevil will enter my mind,
but it's as unreliable as the weather network.
the sun has risen, the fog is gone.
i've been taped back together,
double sided and long lasting.
i found myself a new harlequin....
will you be my harlequin??


.there's hundreds of reasons for me not to stay.
the title and bolded lyrics are from Last Goodbye by Neverstore
another band i discovered... fucking awesome :)

harlequin is pretty much a fool or a clown, but they're just really cool and i like them. like the extras in a Panic! at the Disco music video/concert.
the last boy i found broke my heart,
the new guy makes me feel....real
oh god, wow, i'm happy!

i'd like to propose a toast...

HELLO KAT!
HELLO CARTER!

you guys are the awesomeness :)
okay i'm going to go discover more bands that nobody's heard of.
because i'm cool like that haha.

Discover.Something.New
.Death.Of.Beauty.

you learn something new everyday

this was just a whole new experience for me.
my first funeral... that i remember.
sure i've only seen my great grandmother once in my life,
but the fact that you're looking at a dead relative is just depressing.
i stare at the coffin and think "i could've been there a few months ago"
there were times when i thought i was going to commit suicide.
because everything was crashing so fast.
i knew nothing of my great grandmother,
but as the man told us her life story,
i realized how strong she was.
she was a mother, and grandmother until her husband died.
she sunk into a depression and her mind started to rot away.
how does one forget to remember?
that's true love.
for the last fourteen years, she's been hospitalized, she couldn't even remember her first name.
i walk through the cemetery with my little sister, asking me
"what is this place? what's in that long box?"
it just replays in my mind
.it could've been me.
in other news, my dad moves out wednesday.
no, its all wrong.
IT'S GOING ALL WRONG!!!!

in other news...

5 minutes ago, i check my msn contact list and notice that there are way too many people online at 1 in the morning. i message a friend with because i was so confused why at least 80 people were on the computer


(note that i wont use mine or my friends msn name, just Me and Friend)
Me: hey
Friend: heyyy
Me: can i ask you something?
Friend: sure
Me:...what time is it?
Friend: :S it's midnight
Me: are you sure?
Friend: are you okay? you seem kinda, high
Me: possibly, why the fuck does it say that its one in the morning
Friend: i umm... gotta go. i'll talk to you later
Me: you're messing with my head
Friend: nope :) get some sleep
*Friend has just signed off*

i ask my mom and she just laughs, silly girl it's daylight savings time
i literally smack myself in the head.
so i change my clocks and my friend thinks im stoned
goodnight all!!!

that never happens...

...i guess i'm dreaming again

i wish that life were actually full of possibilities
and that "what ifs" are just in movie scripts.
i sleep all weekend to get away from reality,
because when i dream, i think of you.
but dreams only last a single night,
so just keep on dreaming.
i walk your street each day hoping to catch a glimpse of what is real.
walk through the pouring rain.
fly among stars,
and drown in waters of unlimited depth.
i am the daydream believer.
i have my life in a book ready to be shown to the world,
from birth to old age,
because life is what you make it
and i'd want my life as perfect as the story.
but life cant be a story, a movie, or written down.
it's about making choices,
walk through the pouring rain,
get struck by lightening

.lets be more than this now.
the title and bolded lyrics are from CrushCrushCrush by Paramore
"i pledge allegiance to the world of disbelief where i belong"
wow i got comments!
amazing :)
spread the word haha i like the comments.
oh my god, i have a date to semi formal, and i couldn't be any happier
i guess i made my first right choice.

the shadow of the day....

....will embrace the world in grey

i look to the once clear sky,
i see teardrops fall onto the paved streets.
the soft pittering of rain on my windows
i haven't seen the sun for weeks.

walk to this bright light,
but he's waiting for her call
bring a dream to life, i might
take a cliff for the thrill of it all

days turn into seasons,
seasons turn to years,
i see life all around me,
how can they live without a fear,
a fear of the fall
a fear of neglect
a fear that knowing who you are
is just all a mess.

lulls me into the first of many
peaceful nights alone in this room.
i follow nights wherever they go
but for once i'll hope it leads to you

days turn into seasons,
seasons turn to years,
i see life all around me,
how can they live without a fear,
a fear of the fall
a fear of neglect
a fear that knowing who you are
is just all a mess.

i'm just obsessed, distressed
and to, the oh so ungrateful you.
he sits here waiting by the telephone,
and whats the boy to do,
when the powers down in 202.

pitters turn into thunder clapping loudly
and lightening, lightening frightening
little kids scared into their beds oh
what's a boy to dread when he cant let her know
he loves her so

the soft pittering of rain on my windows
i haven't seen the sun for weeks...

days turn into seasons,
seasons turn to years,
i see life all around me,
how can they live without a fear,
a fear of the fall
a fear of neglect
a fear that knowing who you are
is just all a mess.

i'm just obsessed, distressed
and to, the oh so ungrateful you.
he sits here waiting by the telephone,
and whats the boy to do,
when the powers down in 202.

.and the sun will set for you.
-the bolded lyrics and title are Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park
and this is my song above called Distressed.
maybe i'll create the music and tape it to show on this blog.
if not, then sorry.
Semi-Formal coming up, i think i have a date.
this is a first so i'm really excited. this will be fun, i hope.