The Boy Test aka "Survival of The Fittest"

I’ve gone too far to come back here. But here I stand. Alone. In a cold lab where are that is left are the remnants of the solute. The poor red solute composed of me and all that is me. I designed this chemistry lab at birth, thinking to one day create a match. My match. And to one day finally shut it down, feeling a sense of accomplishment. Completion, and simple, sweet bliss. But here I stand. Alone. And the shards are everywhere. What happened what happened what happened…what happened you ask? When two solutions become mixed into one, it could leave some nasty side effects. I guess the too-good-to-be-true potion was really too good to be true. It was impossible. How could I have been so naïve… SO BLIND?! After the solution had met mine it became a light purple, and slowly grew into a deep red. Good reaction? Indeed it was. Four months of studies and tests, I decided to take the risk. So, hoping for the best, I drank the solution. The cool drink chilled the spine and after a month of the solution in my system, I knew that the test had failed…
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Failure. Such an intense word. Chills me to the bone. And straight to the point: I had failed. Such a harsh way to describe this but it’s unfortunately true.
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Side effects had included depression, loss of appetite, and complete distrust in any other being. And that was it for me.
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I’m here. Alone. And the lab chair lay on the floor. The lab chair. Which was used to destroy my works. Everything. It’s all gone. On the floor here it lays and I had sat there wondering why I had ever risked it. Never have I ever been one to take a chance before being 100% sure. Testing the depths before swimming too deep. The plunge. The fall. The leap of faith…. Or what you will. And I’m just some torn soul dying for another chance. Chances are meant to be taken and with more research I can finally get back on my feet again.
What? Epiphany? Bah. It’s really too good to be true, and would I be ready? The Survival of my Fittest will be the death of me, and it’ll take time for me to cope.
Can I Do It?