5 months and maybe no longer counting

how does it feel to be C
left in a crowd to be G
stepped on now watch out A
the clocks almost run out G
of time, as we slip C
we wonder how it could end G
how we sat and just smiled to pretend A
wonder if i could still call you a friend G-A

i gave it all , gave it all to you D G C Em
but you let me down, nothing left to do D G C Em
but to reminisce, and think "what if?" D. D.
but remember this, every time you fall G. G.
the part i hate to miss most of all is you D G C Em
i hate to miss loving you PAUSE C

what would you do if i C
broke all the rules G
and told you i fell in love with you G
would you pull away
and forget everything i'd ever say
and never again come my way
or would you stay?

i gave it all, gave it all to you
but you let me down, nothing left to do
but to reminisce, and think "what if?"
but remember this, every time you fall
the part i hate to miss most of all is you
i hate to miss loving you

our awkward first dance
our silly romance
and the times you smiled my way
you tickle i bite
our first and last fight
the biggest mistake you ever made
i wish you'd hold me in your arms
and told me it would all be okay

i gave it all, gave it all to you
but you let me down, nothing left to do
but to reminisce, and think "what if?"
but remember this, every time you fall
the part i hate to miss most of all is you
i hate to miss loving you

i have four letters, and i bring people both pleasure AND pain... what am i?

love.
lovelovelove.
it sucks.
when the boy you might be in love with
begins to push you away.
my phones been acting weird
too much water damage.
i hurt so much i feel like cutting
i've been crying since
"this only weekends thing is getting on my nerves"
and it hasn't stopped.
i have to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve
i wear it like a bruise or black eye.
i only get dumped by the ones i love the most.
twice in a row can do things to a girl.
how do you cope with the inevitable future
when there's absolutely nothing
that can stop it
from hurting.

.on.the.edge.and.leaning.over.
she's the .death.of.beautyy.

my heads as cluttered as my room

an overflowing closet of secrets and thoughts kept inside

a merry-go-round

and if you ran away, i'd still wave goodbye watching you shine bright...

woke up knowing
this will be a bad day
sorry if i don't seem at my best
i'm weak and heavy in the chest
stressed depressed distressed obsessed confessed at best
"i hate it so much it makes me rhyme"
i'm a little engine that couldn't,
but it's not like i ever thought i could.
moving at the speed of light
hearts race and shatter into oblivion
and two collide,collide,collide.
dead before you hit the floor.
woke up later that evening knowing
this was a bad day.
i don't seem at my best
i'm weak in the chest
and depressed, i confess.
my head throbs and spasms again
"alone in this bed, house and head"
and heaters do nothing
i'm cold as snow.
feeling as i did the day my heart died
so long ago
and i'm hurting so.

no bothering with this anymore
i'm so upset i'm not writing my life story
i'd pick out the bad parts
i'm a girl in a glass room
soundproof
on the outside looking in
and i'm so glad
you never tune in to this anymore

writing shorter posts because i seem to forget everything nowadays

saturday,sunday,tuesday.
3 times.
3 excuses.
in 4 days.
and a few reasons why i'm beginning to lose hope.
asthma attacks seem to top off a day.
weekends looking down on me
and i can't help but be upset.
blehh, fuck emotions
it messes with the mind
...
signing off for now

.Smile.Nod.Pretend.
justlikethe
DeatthhofBeauttyy

the little engine that could...

just fell off its tracks.

i spin and collide into nothingness
trapped in a box
with the one way soundproof glass
screams and cries echo and send me spinning
spin spin collide
into nothing
shattered and torn.
what a tortured soul
how do you know you're broken
when you're too numb to feel?
trapped in a box
and i decide to recount my stories
trapped in a box
and i decide to regret my past
trapped in a box
and i decide bare it all.
i'm baring all
i'm losing faith
and my train just fell off its tracks.

final words?
i thought i could i thought i could i thought i could i thought...

cross my heart

and hope to die

and VOILA!

fuck I did real good this time
tell me what you all think!
but now my brain is functioning on HTML codes
and to go off topic a little bit... I really like the singer Lights
I only knew Drive My Soul
but half of her album I know... from fucking commercials
you know you watch too much tv when... haha!

Sing , the last thing on your mind
The last word on your breath
I'll be the one to keep you
I'll keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
Cause i don't need your mess
I'll be the one to keep you
One disaster less
-The Last Thing On Your Mind
by Lights

Makeover

Going to give this blog a well deserved makeover today
Don't mind the random html codes you might see here and there
I will be experimenting backgrounds so pardon me if it looks like shit for a little while
Thanks for your cooperation,
Hopefully it'll look nice haha

ComputerDesigner (haha i wish)
.deatH.Of.beauTy..

when your past comes back to haunt you (literally)

my heart is more glass than rock
be careful with it
be gentle
my heart is more glass than rock
but you can't see right through me
and i break a sweat with you miles away
and i wake with fear hoping you're not by my side
and i feel alive when inches from death
i cannot breathe it seems i am
drowning drowning

oh it gets me so down down down down

and down goes the
.death.of.beauty.