scared of what you need...

...everybody wants a piece of you

hyperventilation is my new pastime.
heavy breathing is the new beat.
and the quickened heartbeat will be the rhythm.
you cant beat that, its the broken dream.
who says "i love you" with a twisted smile?
because its hard to say.
hate that you make me remember
hate that you make me forget
hate that every time i close my eyes
i see you.
and the hardest part of it all,
is that i'm not the one.
i am no one.
every morning i have a battle with the mirror saying
"i wish you were what i used to be."
id just like to say that if love is the hearts drug...
i'm emotionally incapable of swallowing the pill.
instead of making me better, its making me ill.
its hard to say, because i wish it weren't true.
the hardest part of this, is trying not to fall in love with you.

.everyone takes a piece of me.

its amazing that i haven't gone clinically insane.
bolded song is Say Anything by Marianas Trench
i'm so tired of being a fake.
i'm actually not, because i've become so used to plastic smiles.
i'm just a little hypocrite.
what i hate the most is what i've become.
and partially suffering from anesthesia isnt helping either.
as for the Fuck Ups this is my conclusion.
first fuck up... my relationship
second fuck up... my family
and the rest are undecided...
good morning, good evening, good afternoon, whatever.
but for me, this is goodnight.