stay awake, get a grip and get out...

...you're safe from the weight of the world

i lay awake,
thinking of the days i felt alive.
do i remember that?
if i did, then i would have more sleep each night.
did i even have those days?
my life is just based on back-biting and back-stabbing.
you're just the diamond in my coalmine.
the rose in my bouquet of dandelions.
but its hard to know whats real.
we can never tell whats wood or plastic,
unless its put to the magnifying lens.
what happens when what you thought was real,
became plastic. artificial. fake.
i'd rather not know.
i'd rather inhale chloroform every night before sleep.
i'd rather listen to the sob songs and stories a million times over,
then have to admit that its just, not real.
remember to feel real, remember to be real.

.just take a second to set things straight.

-the bolded is Stay Awake by All Time Low

i'm really into the song Everything We Had by The Academy Is...
really great song, i'll put the video on the blog in like, a few minutes.
i'm so confused about everything going on.
i'm barely surviving school
and this years peer pressure has just gotten started.
i'm in for quite a year.
oh congrats, my friend saved me nine months of drama when announcing that she wasn't pregnant... people are so fucking paranoid, whether it be so-called best friends or overprotective ex-boyfriends.
wooowie. i really am so different from others at my school.
its just, i don't fit in. but maybe its better that way.
i am mostly carefree...and don't need anyone to worry about me...much.

WhyWorry?
.Death.Of.Beauty.