love me love me

say that you love me...

im just a damn love fool.
its almost me and my boyfriends one month. yay
and happy new year too you all...

i can't sleep tonight,
demons await me in dreams unimaginable.
my fingers are rough against my own skin,
damn these metal strings.
even my own escape causes me pain
emotional and physical pain.
the fingers that pull melodies out of useless metal strings.
ballads of the dead, bring me to life.
back to the breaks, crashes and burns.
i spit into the face of society.
my new years resolution? to be real.

there are nooo...
raindrops on roses
and girls in white dresses
it's sleeping with roaches
and taking best guesses
shades of the sheetss and before all the stainss
...and a few more of my lleeaasstt favourite thiiiingss...

100 FUCKING POSTS!

hello hello hello!
wow, a hundred posts and im still writing... not much but still writing.
since i have nothing to say im just going to see how far i've come, and what songs influenced each post... it's pretty much considered the Soundtrack Of My Life. and also, thank you to those who read and commented on my blog, it made me smile! :)

Soundtrack Of My Life

Down and Out -The Academy Is...
The Take Over, The Breaks Over- Fall Out Boy
Let This Go- Paramore
Of All The Gin Joints In All The World- Fall Out Boy
I Dont Love You- My Chemical Romance
Here We Go Again- Paramore
Wine Red- The Hush Sound
Chicago Is So 2 Years Ago- Fall Out Boy
Time To Dance- Panic!At The Disco
Dark Blue- Jacks Mannequin
Home Improvement- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Homesick At Space Camp- Fall Out Boy
Jacks Obsession- Nightmare Before Christmas ST
We Are Broken- Paramore
Last Breath- Evanescence
Time Stands Still- All American Rejects
Monster- Meg And Dia
The Grim Goodbye- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
XO- Fall Out Boy
Curse Of Curves- Cute Is What We Aim For
Nineteen Stars- Meg And Dia
Masterpiece- Meg and Dia
Franklin- Paramore
Hero/Heroine- Boys Like Girls
5 Minutes To Midnight- Boys Like Girls
Up Against The Wall- Boys Like Girls
Dancing For Rain- Rise Against
Stay Together For The Kids- Blink 182
Too Far Gone- All American Rejects
Hey There Delilah- Plain White Ts
Lying Is The Most Fun...- Panic!At The Disco
Bat Country- Avenged Sevenfold
Little Death- +44
GINASFS- Fall Out Boy
Right On Right Now- Powerspace
The Good Left Undone- Rise Against
Thunder- Boys Like Girls
Seed- The Academy Is...
Holiday- Boys Like Girls
Hallelujah- Paramore
Newport Living- Cute Is What We Aim For
Situations- Escape The Fate
Honourable Mention- Fall Out Boy
Risque- Cute Is What We Aim For
Courage, Robert- Meg And Dia
Thats What You Get- Paramore
A Little Less 16 Candles...- Fall Out Boy
Torn- Natalie Imbruglia
Say Anything- Marianas Trench
The Phrase That Pays- The Academy Is...
Roses- Meg and Dia
Six Feet Under The Stars- All Time Low
Just One Of Those Things- Meg and Dia
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day
Out Through The Curtain- The Hush Sound
Stay Awake- All Time Low
Skeptics and True Believers- The Academy Is...
Sound Effects and Overdramatics- The Used
Camisado- Panic!At The Disco
Until The Day I Die- Story of The Year
What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost- Taking Back Sunday
This Is Halloween- Nightmare Before Christmas
Shadow Of The Day- Linkin Park
CrushCrushCrush- Paramore
Last Goodbye- Neverstore
Remembering Sunday- All Time Low
From Yesterday- 30 Seconds to Mars
So Much Of Not Enough- Neverstore
Toxicity- System Of A Down
Sleep- Taking Back Sunday
Crazy Train- Ozzy
The Mixed Taoe- Jacks Mannequin
Let Go- Frou Frou
Stop This Song- Paramore

WHOAA
well thats all, im at my dads all week, and i'm missing my boyfriend.
damn... well good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night to all you peoples who actually read my blog.


100 POSTSSS

it seems i have lost my voice...
fuck!

i've gone too far to come back from here...

...but you dont have a clue

a papercut can bleed as much as a bullet wound,
but it's all how you heal it.
why do we have to live by day?
at least we're not blinded at night
blinded by light,
blinded by love
blind.
what's the point of sight when we can't see what's real
what's the point of love when we're too blind to see it...
eyes are gateways to the souls,
they let hidden emotions fall like teardrops.
he's got the dreamcatcher eyes,
that make me a daydream believer.
make me a believer,
make me believe.

.you don't know what you do to me.
-Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody) by Paramore! (who are nominated for a Grammy! HOLY FUCK)
well, Christmas is coming up
i'm Jewish, but my boyfriend isn't.
and i am oh so TERRIBLE at getting gifts.
so i'm pretty much screwed.
HELP MEEE
what do i get a boyfriend for the holidays?
this is my first boyfriend that i've actually had over the holidays...
so, what do i do?

so let go, let go, jump in...

...well whatcha waiting for?

pump up my heart,
let's go to the races.
don't you ever wish that your life
took place in a Harry Potter novel?
you get to escape into a new, unknown world.
and you can send your problems away with a flick of a stick.
don't you ever wish that you would
actually see a White Rabbit run by
with his chain holding the time?
i want to live in a winter wonderland.
i guess my yellow brick road,
was just a beer-stained sidewalk,
and i'm following the fucker who made the mess.
i need a scarecrow to show me which way to go.
i need a helping hand to make it through,
could you be my scarecrow?

.there's beauty in the breakdown.

long time no post! hey!
well, nevermind what i wrote above, i'm a retard.
i'm in love i'm in love!
and my boyfriend is the sweetest thing :)
how's everybodyy?

this is a warning...

...when you start the day just to close the curtains

my friend once told me that theres a
reason that teeth were white.
it's so that even in the darkest times,
a smile can brighten your grey skies.
smiles are like diseases:
contagious and hard to get rid of.
unfortunately so is heartbreak.

i think everyone is illiterate.
they choose to see words by appearance instead of meaning.
we have to add big flashy arrows just so the sign could be read.
and sometimes that doesnt even work.
lets make the stop sign hot pink and blue,
and make warnings into eyesores.

i guess my fate was set after that South Park episode.

no no trust me, there is a cure for gingervitis.

it just gives me more of a reason to be a bitch to people i hate.

"it's in my non existent soul. all devil spawn are bitches."

have you ever noticed this?
he walks up to you on a good day and says "hey, you look really pretty today"
the only thought crossing your mind... "just today?"

((gauge your eyes and lock the doors,
let's not let them see anymore.
let's make a habit outta this,
we'll make a habit outta this.))
((to be continued...))

.you're thinking about what i've given up.

the bolded title and lyrics are The Mixed Tape by Jacks Mannequin.
random rants about things i've noticed in the world today.
well in other news...
i've got a boyfriend.. shocking yes yes very much
i pretty much choked on my Diet Pepsi thinking back on it
well it's all going UPhill!
how's everyone else doing??

all aboard AHAHAHAHA!!

im going off the rails

thunderstorm inside my head.
obsessions over the immorally right.
fall asleep with one eye open,
maybe i'll miss a moment pass me by.
let's take a shot for the sake of not remembering.
let's take a pill for the sake of exploring.
explore the realms and enter the unknown,
like walking into a new room,
new faces,
new shit.
the only difference between a train and a car is the tracks.
you never know where you're going.
you never know where you'll be next.
look me up when in town,
i'll show you around,
i'll make you frown.
i'll show you the world through eyes like sea,
and tell you what real sadness is to me.
a crooked grin is just a broken smile,
pick up the pieces and stay a while.
run away train and turbulent plane,
let's get lost in the pouring rain.
who sees sadness when tears are hidden,
who sees truth when dreams are forbidden?
keep me safe, keep me warm,
but keep my clothing tattered and torn.
keep me trapped inside a well,
toss your penny-filled dreams and tell
me your darkest dreams and fears,
if you could be there to wipe the tears
that hide in everlasting rain,
just watch me through your window pane.
i'm going crazy but i have grown,
these secrets lie in the well-known.
complete the puzzle, but its just the frown,
sadness is just my smile upside down.

on this CRAZY TRAIN!!

the title and lyrics are of course CRAZY TRAIN by Ozzyy!
well this was a long one, i actually started rhyming.
hah well this weekend...
saturday was the party at my house.man it was sick.
we thought that there wasnt going to be any beer,
so us 4 girls and 3 guys sat around eating pizza and watching borat.
then after a phone call we get a knock at the door.
two college guys with a 24 pack of coors light...
nice!! i thought they were going to trash my house but they were really nice.
i didn't drink much, not even a whole bottle haha.
truth or dare... ahem NO comment!
alright this is REALLY long so im outtie.

.Im.Fucking.Crazy.
.Death.Of.Beauty.