hyperventilations an easy way to say goodbye

fuck everything
its the end of the school year
and everythings just falling apart..
i sit here right now,
writing this
because its going to be my last post on this blog.
maybe ill create a new one, iunno.
i'm sick of wet keyboards and tissues overflowing my trashcan
i'm just sick of it all.
what irks me the most is that i help people when they have a problem...
why doesnt anybody care about me? about my fuckin feelings right now!
no its okay, i'm f.i.n.e.
my family is falling apart.
my moms always out, my sisters only 6, my brother couldnt give a shit, and i'm here running around with a broken toe trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle.
the person i though would care most thinks everythings a joke, and doesn't know when i'm angry or upset or not, or maybe just doesnt care at all.
exams are coming up and i have just lost sight of whos my friend and whos not.
thanks to all who's read this since last july.
sayonara from .Death.Of.Beauty.

i know that i can find the fire in your eyes...

...i'm going all the way, get away please

maybe i'm going out of my mind,
but i can't help but doubt it all.
pessimism sinking in,
fucking up my morals,
what i believed right is now wrong,
and what is truly wrong stays.
'what if' 'what if' 'what if'
should i believe that someone cares,
even if they don't show it?
i'm knee deep in quicksand,
you're sucking me in
unwillingly, tempting me.
i want to just dive in,
but i don't want to fall into something
with no chance to resurface

.you take the breath right out of me.
Breath by Breaking Benjamin is the bolded shit

i'm so messed up with how i should feel
one minute i know, but then i feel the need
to take it back.
i don't want to confront the problem
because i don't want to ruin what can still be fixed..