look in my eyes...

...you're killing me, killing me

i had a test that decided my future today
academics are worth shit if the future is always as cloudy as the minds of those
stuck in yesterday.
stuck in the past,
the boggling mind is just making me dizzy.
stuck in the past,
i'm worried about the future.
stuck in the past,
i've lost sight of the present.
i'm crossing bridges that have started to burn.
i have set the fire.
i'm looking out across the fog,
where's a thought when you need one?
distant distant distant.
who needs friends and family
when you have papers and pens?
stuck in the past,
the future is the present.
walking the wooden plank on this sinking ship.
i have set the fire.

.all i wanted was you.
the bolded title and lyrics are from The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars.
i cried today, surprisingly....
i think it's the first real one since the divorce.
i'm distancing myself from people,
i'm not sleeping enough
i'm most definitely not myself.
no wonder i'm not being invited to hang outs.

.Let.It.All.Out.
Death.Of.Beauty

catch me as i fall...

...say you're here and it's all over now


my life is an ongoing circle
peek through blinds and see the fog,
a day to match my mind.
hug me on a cold winter morning
you could always warm my heart.
it surprises me how much i thought you didn't care.
if eyes are gateways to the soul,
then i'm slipping away.
let's fall like tears down the faces of those who believed
let's fall like the leaves of the tree where you said "i'll love you forever"
let's be nothing.
nothings impossible.
nothings special.
nothings out of reach.
let's be nothing,
because nothing lasts forever...

.no one's here and i'm blinded by tears.
the title and bolded lyrics is Whisper by Evanescence

Hi! I'm back haha and with and different attitude.... i think.
it all depends on what's going on in my day.
i'll try to post as often as possible... but it's not likely
i don't even know if i still have readers... but ohh well

.Why.Give.Up?.
Death.Of.Beauty~

i dont want to be...

...the one, the one, the one that you forget

bloodshot eyes and crows feet
bleeding backs and dagger glares.
worry lines are reminders that nothings easy.
darkened skies remind her to just keep it easy.
i pity the lovers and friends,
nothing lasts a lifetime.
break my mind
break my heart
watch thoughts and emotions explode.
watch me trip and fall
like the clumsy hearts..
it's all they seem to do nowadays.
repetitive thoughts
easy.easy.easy.easy.easy.easy.not easy.
bloodshot eyes and crows feet.

.i don't, i don't, i don't just want to be your regret.