how does it feel?

I wouldn't know...
BUT

I once knew a girl who
had sealed her own lips shut.
she was quiet and shy (well, obviously)
rarely expressed her opinions and just went with the flow.
many wondered why she would do such a thing,
but the answer was quite simple:
she wanted a boy to love her.

Then that girl I once knew
had glued her tear ducts shut.
she always stared straight ahead and rarely blinked (obviously)
strong on the outside, weak on the inside
many wondered why she would do such a thing,
but the answer was quite simple:
she didn't want to cry over a boy.

Then that girl I once knew
had plugged her ears with cotton.
she walked alone, not listening to anyone around her (obviously)
ignorance is bliss, she thought to herself
many wondered why she would do such a thing
but the answer was quite simple:
she didn't want to listen to a boy

Then that girl I once knew
had cut her heart out of her chest.
she was never really the same after that (obviously... I think)
she put it in a small case, locked it and buried it in her yard.
many wondered why she would do such a thing
but the answer was quite simple:
she didn't want to love a boy anymore.

Speak no Love.
Hear no Love.
See no Love.
...
Feel no Love.

It was a lot more gruesome the first time around...
very Tim Burton-esque, if you will.
But I editted it a bit to make it less gorey but still to the point.
Guing her tear ducts is slightly better than hollowing out her eyes right?
Wow this sucks if you're a visual thinker
(like my lovely best friend who reads this from time to time, hahhh)

I really don't understand why people are freaking out over prom dilemmas this early...
Like, dresses I kinda understand... but SEATING ARRANGEMENTS?
Go fuck yourselves and let me listen to my new love, Vampire Weekend.
Mmm they're "the sex"... if I were in the UK and would use their slang.

Sadly, I lay awake
as the
Death....OfBeauty

Exams and another makeover

The title speaks for itself.

Exams can kiss my ass, I'm going to fail Chemistry....

AAANNDDDD
I don't know how to work this new Page thingy that's going on here
but i'll figure it out and it will be awesomesauce

bai

I'm Miles From Where You Are...

Patrons on the rocks,

AND I'M READY FOR SOME SHOTS!!!!
God that song is catchy and is such a party starter...
not that I've been to a party
because of fucking EXAMS!

GARBLErubblerabblerabble
mmmmbut oh well.

Any positives?
1) I just realized Patrick Dempsey is in one of the Scream movies. ROFLCOPTER
2) Exams come as quickly as they go, a few hell days and I'm good =D
3) It's almost my one year anniversary with my boyfriend, and now I seem to be acting like a giddy little girl. Now I know why my friend was all excited for her one year, it's kind of a big deal whether you're a girly girl or not. Well we're going to see Planet Smashers and The Creepshow at the Opera House, just like our first date on Valentines Day =D tehehehhefbasdifvbuavbuilasfrbwseo gawd I'm gonna be embarrassed if he reads this

Ell Em Eff Ay Oh!!
Shots Shots ShotsShotsShotsShots!
I could use a drink ;]

I sleep soundly
as the

Dee Ee Ay Tee Aych
Oh Eff
Bee Ee Ay You Tee Why

But on the plus side...

Me and a couple of friends participated in the ImprovToronto annual No Pants Subway Ride!!!
And yea, I saw my lovely red hair on the mother fucking News at 11:00.
Fuckkiin rad.

So then we decided it would also be fun to walk down Queen Street without pants.
Some phrases of the day
"SLUTS!!" (People in a car, they're awesomesauce)
"God Bless Canadian Girls!"
"Did you lose a bet or something?" (Employee at Adrenaline Tattoo)
"You girls are brave." "Aren't  you guys cold?!?!"
"What's the deal with the no pants?"
"I'm so confused!! Augh my head hurts now man.." (Cashier at Adrenaline Tattoos)
And many many more of course.


Then after getting our pants back on at around... 5ish, we continued our journey in downtown Toronto,
with some
FREE HUG SIGNS!!!!
Yea, we pulled out some cardboard signs and started asking people for free hugs.
People can be quite cruel, and then again, people can be quite nice.
We got an inspirational speech sort of thing from this lovely old-ish woman while in the middle of a group hug, it was very adorable.

Responses to "Free Hugs?":
"..Perverts!" (creepy old guy)
"Ohh free hugs! Now I'll give you ladies a free kiss, Mwah Mwah!" (sexy guy on the street with an accent who gave us kisses on the cheeks. Awkward but nevertheless hilarious)
"You sure? I smell like belgian waffles." (person that worked at a waffle place, and smelled delicious!)
"How much?" (To which I replied, It's free, so that'll be five bucks please.)
"Anything for you beautiful ladies!"

And we got a couple of people who wanted pictures with us, and a couple who asked for our names, which was kinda creepy, but the pictures were cool.

Kay well it's like, 1 in the morning and I might wanna think about going to bed!
Or I will,
yea, I will.

Still angry, annoyed, upset, and in the mood for some fucking dedication and honesty
I sleep as the
Death Of Beauty

Most annoying phrase in the whole fucking world.

"What do you want from me?"

Fucking HATE that question
Why?
Because I immediately start feeling like a naggy little bitch for even complaining about anything.
What do you want from me?
What do you want me to say?
What Do You Want?
...
What do I want????
I just want to live a fucking normal life with a normal and loving family, and a normal and successful school average, and a normal and loving relationship and to just feel like I actually belong in this fucking world.
Because honestly I have NONE of the things I mentioned above. Then again neither do most people... so NOW I'm being a naggy little bitch

So basically
Nobody should EVER ask me "what do you want from me?"!!!
Because if I'm not smiling on a daily basis,
and I'm not giving you any real answer,
then I don't fucking know either.

Angry, annoyed, upset, exhausted, and just really not in the mood for any more shit,
I stand tall as the
Death Of Beauty