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my Life. right there, on the table, for you to See.
for me to Share. for all to Know.
to keep me at Ease. to keep me Sane.
to keep it Real........ One post at a time.

...i will be chasing your starlight...

Monday, September 7, 2009

pregnancy jokes stopped being funny about 3 weeks ago...

abandon ship!
i think i'm sinking..
i can't quite seem to stay afloat
i'm drifting in and out of reality and dream
they're binding me to their borders
the ultimate game of tug-o-war.
that's all it ever truly is: a game
a sick and twisted scheme at work.
you seesaw me to no ends,
a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs
and just when i am at my highest
you leave and knock me to the ground.
words flow through me; my special attack.
my once dagger glares have become cheap
thumbtacks and pinpricks
and my ever backstabbing friends
have just left a hole where it all used to be.
spineless and empty
i begin to drown
and can't quite seem to stay afloat
i think i'm sinking so.
i must indeed.
abandon ship

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

This'll be the last chance you get to drop my name...
I'd never lie to you

Unless I had to I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to I'll do what I got to,
The truth is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt
 You Are SO Last Summer- Taking Back Sunday

I have sand in places that I never wanted sand to be...
I have the taste of an unfamiliar boy in my mouth...
I have a heart that won't be held by duct tape anymore...
I have an illness that's eating me from the inside...
I have a sober mind that is now feeling nostalgic and philosophical...
I have a blog with everything I hold dear to me...
I have a soul waiting to be exposed...
I have to be real...
I have to be me...
I have to just be...
the
.Death-Of-Beauty.

Shh...can you spill a secret?

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