The Only Thing You'll Get...

...Is This Curse On Your Lips

my mind is a box of treats but I
can never pick which one I want first
and the lyrics never make sense to me
and the thoughts in my head will just make it worse
I'm looking at an inspirational story
I'm looking for a strong desire to be "somebody"
but you sure as hell can't be it when all the
inspiration is a blank page and a wall
but I try to find this love
this desire to be, to be anything but me
but I try to find the way
to make this feel so damn right
but my mouth stutters when I speak
and all my flaws make me feel so fucking weak
and all I can do is hope for you
never knew an old sidewalk can be spectacular
but my mind knows more about me than I do
myself, and to think that writing on a paper would
prove anything at all, to get through to you
I'm looking at an inspirational story
I'm looking for a strong desire to be "somebody"
but you sure as hell can't be it when all the
inspiration is a blank page and a wall
but I try to find this love
this desire to be, to be anything but me
but I try to find the way
to make this feel so damn right
but my mouth stutters when I speak
and all my flaws make me feel so fucking weak
and all I can do is hope for you


oh fuck the poems, fuck the rhymes
my lyrics even lie to me!
im through with love
it only leads to shitty heartbreaks and meltdowns
and FUCK my keyboard,pencil and pen
it allows me to lie, it allows me to let my feelings show
im lying to myself, im lying to you
im lying to myself.
here we go, fucking lying again.

.I Hope It Tastes Of Me Forever.

with every breath i wish your body will be broken again

This Chaos, This Calamity

Give Your Immortality To Me...

i can show you the shining stars
but only you can shine my day
i can take you away from here
nothing can make this feeling go away
i can brighten your day with one quick smile
bring sunshine through the clouds that hover over you
its true, bring colour into your eyes, so blue
i can raise a halo over your wings and make you fly up
into the clouds up above you know we can go far
you and i can go to the stars
have you been to heaven?
climb over the golden gates with me
i can take you away from here
you're the key to set us both free
i can brighten your day with one quick smile
bring sunshine through the clouds that hover over you
its true, bring colour into your eyes, so blue
i can raise a halo over your wings and make you fly up
into the clouds up above you know we can go far
you and i can go to the stars
notice me notice me
take my hand and go
you know we can go to the stars
you and i can go to the stars
set me free into the stars

...I'll Set You Up Against The Stars

we lied, we cant go on

I'm Holding Out And I'm Holding On...

...To Every Letter And Every Song

dont come close;
lonliness can be contagious.
I now wear my heart on my sleeve
no point in hiding, its been bruised to numbness
its these times I wish I were an Anne Rice novel character
hidden from daylight; secluded from others
given eternal life, but sold my soul.
but being a shadow of the night,
I would step outside at the crack of dawn
nobody has truly happy endings
fairytales were made to make the world happy.
a false happiness i assure you.
wading into dangerous waters can make ripples of disaster
a small breeze could become a hurricane
a short walk can be a great escape
its all calm before the storm
im pulling plugs in a flooded room
consequences are for the cautious
screw superstitions, I already have years of bad luck
and when the weight is lifted
why not waste a few more?

You Still Know The Way To Make My Makeup Run

So We Just Take It Back...

These Words And Hold Our Breath...

you send me spinning like a tornado.
fuck spinning I just want to fly
your words ring through me
like echos in a soundproof room
whispers smooth like the seashore
but the damn waves just collapse on me
and when the tides come in
I'll take natures course
become sucked under the stinging salt water
barely able to hold on
you say take risks
I say make risks
go by my own rules, follow my own current
but the one I try to hide from, takes the same route
its addicted to my hopelessness
like a cat to the mouse
like a bird to the worm
like a drunk to the beer
like a fish to the line
well, hook.line.sinker.

...Forget The Things We Swore We Meant...

And When You Go...

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating

I can literally see the life flash before my eyes
I'm sick of your games
your words of "comfort" wont do anything for me now
now I'm alone, in the silence
with the tapping of soft rain on the window
like the drops of tears splashing onto the paper
smearing the words of what I wrote
the poet who never made it in life
the lyricist who never had the tune to match the rhyme
the pages of my life sprawled on the floor
the book open to the final empty page
its now yours to complete
because theres no intention of continuing
I've given you my heart and soul
what I have left is this book
this is the final chapter
the final page
the final minute

...I Dont Love You Like I Did Yesterday...

You Only Hold Me Up Like This...

cause you dont know who i really am
i used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
now i only waste time dreaming of you...

well this time i know
i wont give up
the clock chimes 11
times almost up
i am what i never was before
my prince charming awaits
i wish time would just slow down
savour the feeling
cherish the moment
who knows when my day will come again
as i look into his caramel eyes and lean in
I'll remember that moment for as long as i live
the clock chimes 12
once.
i realize
two.
that heartbreak
three.
is the only outcome
four.
which i will make
five.
gasp for air
six.
mind slips
seven.
leave a memory
eight.
on his lips
nine.
and leave before he finally sees
who i really am.
ten.eleven.twelve.
its all over
left a memory like a glass slipper
and it will just be a memory
of what was, and will never truly be.

Disney Classics say that a kiss seals true love. Well, my life seems to be the Disney Movie from hell. Cinderella got her happily ever after. He went after her. Guess it's true when they say that everything is better in movies.

...Like I'll Ever Be The Same...

But I Cant Find The Words To Tell You

I find myself falling falling down
just see the way i cry
hold me down
i regret the way i try to be okay
guess lifes never that way
can things ever be the same?
i'm feeling lonely for the first time
so i right my wrongs, sing and rhyme
to songs of bitterness
that sweet, sweet bitterness
Cage myself inside my room
i just wanna be alone
this life cant possibly be mine
this place cant be my home
I find myself falling falling down
just see the way i cry
hold me down
i regret the way i try to be okay
guess lifes never that way
can things ever be the same?

and as i look around i see smiling joyful faces
why cant that be me?
im just that miserable
in the business of misery
because as you all know
- Misery Loves Me -

With Smiles On Our Faces...

We're Dropped And Well Concealed
In Secret Places....

fake smiles of course
why should we hide our emotion
kept in the dark
you say " are you emo?"
i say "no i'm fine"
Fucked up. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional
F.I.N.E.
funny how the same word could have two possible meanings
like trust.
like happiness.
Your Happy: To Feel Content And Glee
Im Happy: I'm Alive
I Miss this Eeries feeling inside
When Misery Comes Crawling
A feeling that tells me im not alone
Dont care if its corny
Dont care if this is cliché

Everyone has a motto
A slogan to go by
Something that represents you
Or else your left with nothing
My Motto?
Fake A Smile
Fake A Laugh
Shed Some Tears
Paint Life Black
you'll never know
how much i loved him
you'll never know
how much i want him back
i love you...

Avoid the dark voids of life
or else you'll never see whats in the light

...Dont Pretend You Ever Forgot About Me...

Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace In Pieces

the water's never been so deep
and im sinking further and further
with nothing to hold on to
could this be considered murder
as i gasp for air my lungs expand
wish that feet weren't in water, but sand
feeling the weight press onto my shoulders
i drown, i drown, drown
why can we carry on
when the futures yet to unfold
why can we hold on
when we have nothing to hold
whats the point of living
with your tail between your legs,
your like a dog who begs
for treats when you desire.
i desire to aspire
i aspire my dreams to come true
but everything i hold to
always leads back to you.
the water's abyss is just to deep
and im sinking further and further
with nothing but you, to hold on to
my last breath whispered "murder"

Happiness For Sorrow? What A Bargain...

well why don't you just grow up?
it about time you started making sense
with your trickery and your rhymes
you got me... completely twisted

you're the 'con' who is condemned;
the 'lie' I should believe;
the 'word' that cuts like a sword
you should be locked up for everything you do to me
you make me stutter when i speak
you make me laugh, you make me squeak
your smile shines brighter than the sun could ever
if you asked for me, i would stay with you forever
you always make me lose track of all time
(hell, you even make me fucking rhyme!)
but why does so much happiness bring so much sorrow?
you take everything as a joke, a clown of the highest rank
this is some dysfunctional calamity, and your the subject of my story
the imminence of your wits is near, and I'm anticipating
but i cant help but wonder... is this what I've been waiting for?

this is to you, My Favourite Liar
"I'm Hopelessly Hopeful And Your Just Hopeless Enough"

--Bury Me In Your Memory--

This Suffering

life should be easier... shouldnt it?
there is much suffer for pleasure
when one suffers, shouldnt the other pleasure?
we are suffering for others pleasure
whats the difference?
we all suffer
we all pleasure
then why is there so much hate
hate comes from pleasures and suffers
i am the suffering
i suffer from pleasure
yet this makes me wonder...
am i content, or depressed
when i am feeling both.