'::.selfishness.::'

i'm so sick, infected with, where i live

they say it's love,
but they also say that i should see a doctor.
blind me with fake white toothed smiles.
you're only fooling yourself.
look to me
sing serenades
what movie did you rip off today?
practicing breakup lines in the mirror
let's just end it with a bang.
roses arent always red,
but violets are always blue.
lets pick stars,
and turn night into day.
and let promises crumble
like leaves in deep fall.
hakuna matata
you'll ;;FADE;; with .me.

.let me live without this empty bliss.

once i ran to you...

now i run from you...

runrunrunrunrun
funny how your only escape from reality,
becomes your biggest fear.
i'm the best mistake you could ever make.
i'm little mis-understood.
spinspinspinspin
fuck it just let me soar.
once again caged inside my own mind.
you're taking over.
i look across the once clear opening,
maybe if you look past the clouds
you can find my thoughts.
dishevelled like vines.
i'm just a blur in your 20/20 vision.
in my mind, everyone's a match.
a ticking time bomb.
and i just started a forest fire.
scream and cry and bang on the bars.
the key was the only thing left broken
letmeoutletmeoutletmeout.
i just want this to end
save me from this nightmare
that some call life...

take my tears and that's not nearly all tainted love.

swear to break it up if you dont care to listen

oh we're not so young, but just grasping for attention.

i want to be more than ink stains.
a misleading locker letter.
a spot on your favourite sweater.
a shadow to the rest of the world.
the old tree is my new home.
let's watch the leaves change and fall.
let's dream of failure every night.
thoughts tangling and swarming within.
just these thoughts of failure sinking in.
holding on to the edge of reason,
i seem to be losing grasp.

.all i can see are lies.
.fool me once fool me twice.
- the bolded is my version of Panic!At The Discos, The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage (the chorus in particular)
because i'm a fool like that.
sorry its so short but yeah..

hopefully somebody can make sense of what i'm feeling at the moment.
fuckkk

.Peace.
.Death.Of.Beauty.

he saw a lonely girl...

...she saw a lonely world

i lie awake in bed
hating how ive sinned.
the things i said
the things i did
things that i regret.
the indentation on the wall is now selfexplanatory.
the beige and black pillows are are essential.
and a broken girl is the final touch
to a messed up life.
i'm just a tunnel walker.
fuck why is the ending light getting smaller.
i'd walk an eternity just to see light.
i'd live forever to convince you to smile for me.
...i'd be living until this world caves in.
but i'd sin again to tunnelwalk.
because... what's life without darkness.
...
people say life is a rollercoasters.
fuck coasters its like the DropZone.
you slowly make your way to the top,
have your ten seconds of fame...
and then just get thrown back down.
wait in line and try again.

.courage came only from symphonies.

with the FURRRR

shawty got dem apple bottom jeansss
boots with the furrrr
...blah blah
low low low low low low low low

music today has gotten so lame that we have to resort to just rhyming really fast with a beat and upload it to a disc... i'd like to see 50 Cent and Flo Rida sing the Beatles or a love ballad.
and now it's reached an all time low... theyre singing about the clothing they see girls wearing... what the fuck are apple bottom jeans. and all the songs sound somewhat similar... haha i can do the soulja boy dance to the song Kiss Kiss and it works perfectly... but that's another story..
where the hell did all the good music go? rock, classic rock, anything.. grrr

kay i have nothing... i'll post some stuff tomorrow
but now... i am about to pass out... so goodnight to all

.Death.Of.Beauty.

nah nah.... i miss youu

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you...

i'm terrified of the dark,
but sometimes crawling into caves
seems like the idea of the day.
sticks and stones may break my bones,
but i was hit with a big 'FAIL'.
it's raining losers,
catch me before i hit the ground.
i can be your special snowflake,
when hell freezes over,
and rain becomes snow.
how does it feel when tears freeze?
like the crusty eyes of a dreamer,
dying to believe.
life really is like water,
its full of ups and downs,
and once you hit the ground,
you gotta go through it all over again..

.I Wrote You A Love Letter... But I Lost It.
Send It By Planes And Trains... I'll See You In Hell
...once you hit the bottom, its all over.
all cycles come to an end.
like this blog...eventually
for now...

.Live.Laugh.Love...Lose.
.Death.Of.Beauty.

the hummingbirds and the bumblebees

umm... read this and see what you make of it...

the clock runs in reverse.
i looked in the mirror with a smile on my face.
i saw the clock run in reverse again.
i walked the halls with no fear,
and ran into his arms as if i knew
everything's going to be okay he said.
i said "i believe...
i'll make it through the brand new year.
i'll get through as long as i'm with you."
the rain fell freely from the sky,
like tears of joy and happiness.
i walk through the halls without fear,
and run to you, but i was out of reach.
an endless tunnel and a blackout.
i find myself home.
i looked into the mirror,
and all i see are black, empty eyes.

...and then i woke up.

what kind of fucked up dream is this??

...it hurts when i think i know that you'll be my biggest mistake...

i love everything that reminds me of home.
the music, the misery, the rhymes and neglect.
i'd do anything...
i'd tear out my heart if you want me to bleed,
i'd rip off my flesh if you want me to scream.
i'd laugh everytime you'd want me to smile
i'd be with you if you want me to stay a while.
staple my mouth to shut me up
just tear out the heart if you wanted it but,
after all of these things that i do for you.
why dont i feel true
to be in love
with you?

i'm falling harder and faster in love with him...
but why does it feel like
he'll be the first boy to leave it broken...?

.Torn.Yet.Tired.
.Death.Of.Beauty.

theres nothing that sleep can't fix...
i'm going to give this blog a makeover!