this house is haunted, but so pathetic...

...it makes no sense at all

it sucks when your shoulder to cry
nudges you away.
it seems i'm everyones punching bag
it seems i'm everyones pillow
to scream into when there's nothing left
but anger and hurt.
i'm everyones release.
people always talk about a white light
a silver lining
an end to all of this either near or far.
it sure is good from far
but i know its just so far from good.
what happens when your white light
starts to get smaller, and fade to black?
what happens when everything you thought was true
slowly becomes a big fat lie?
what happens when you sacrifice it all
and get nothing in return?
i am the release
scream at me again
id love to hear it.
my fingers are slipping off this cold wet keyboard
and i'm sitting here wondering
"what the fuck am i still doing here?"
it sucks when the shoulder you cry on
doesn't have a clue that they've left.

.its not right.
the bolded title and lyrics are Stay Together For The Kids by Blink 182
its weird that even a year after a divorce
i'm still feeling the aftermath
my ears are ringing
and i'm thinking to myself
this is not my home anymore...

oh what an understatement

its just so complicated

and this feels so sudden

head flows in figure eights and this

world just goes rolling

and life goes tumbling

and all emotions are telling

me to stop,

and roll with it

this is the rush through the speakers

delivered in the sound of my voice

now listen up i know

you hear them whisper in the streets

with people id never met before

and so much more

now listen up i know

nothing goes the way you want

and its just so hard

so so hard

to let you know

i like you so

but fuck

oh what an understatement
its just so complicated
and this feels so sudden
head flows in figure eights and this
world just goes a rolling
and life a goes a tumbling
and all emotions are telling
me to stop,
and roll with you again

and my breath starts pumping my heart goes jumping...

...everytime he says "gotta go now"

i said before
life isn't no wonderland
but man, is it a wonder.
why does the earth spin?
why does everything that goes up
have to come back down?
why do we trip and fall over words
that just seem to come out as blurs
from those who resist the urge to speak the fuck up.
i feel like such a damn cartoon.
zipper my mouth shut and catapult me to a whole new world.
drop a piano on my head and lets all watch the cuckoo birds
float roundroundround my head.
(i wonder how Wiley Coyote does it..)
come and jump with me
lift me high, make me soar
make me touch the sky.
feel the sand between my toes
and flowing with the tide...
i'm feeling alive
i'm feeling real
i'm feeling like my old self
no more deja vu
i can walk through those trees once more
and leave the memories of the past behind
bury it all beneath the dirt.
digging up the old roots, i'm being reborn
i'm new
i feel
i'm alive
i'm real.
my heads in the clouds.
and nothing is ever gonna bring me down.
todays broadcast has been brought to you
by anger, happiness, and utter bewilderment.


.dodododo my heart goes BANGBANGBOOM.
the moffatts sing BANGBANGBOOM
i looooove them haha
what a day
hmm this post was like
angry, then happy...
wtf is going on here =P
eh i'm tired of drama... stupidness

let.me.in.your.armss.to.feell.
Deaaathhh ooof Beaaautyyy

the boys are too refined

i hate what he did to me
made me broken
yet made me real
made me laugh, made me cry
and made me make myself
hate me even more
i hate what he did to me
because im changing with every glance
i cry during sappy movies
i laugh at something someone did
'cause you did the same weeks ago
i think about you in the middle of the day
and wonder if youre thinking of me...
i hate what he did to me.
because he's changing how i am with you
im jealous when you talk to other girls
im upset whenever you dont message me back
im lonely when youre not around
im waiting for you to say something
that i know you might not say
im curious when you say brb
but dont tell me where youre going
i wonder what youre doing
whenever im not around...
im changing
i hate it
i love it
he did it
he made me
he broke me
what do you think of it all now?
and now im wondering
why a guy like you
would want a girl like me
at all...

i'm with the cool people and can officially call my guitar "ELECTRIC"

umm fuck to the yeahhh...
it is black
it is cool
it is cheap
it is MINE
and im off downtown tomorrow for a photography trip
im loving life
and all its wonders
all its mysteries
and all its flaws (except one or two heh)
im loving it all
ive got ABSOLUTELY nothing to say
im still digesting turkey
anddd... yeah =D

Make.It.Worth.The.Wait
.DeathOF...beauty:)*

its true that you dont know what you have until its gone

being with something for so long

you just grow accustomed to it

its what one wakes up to in the morning

its what one dreams of when theyre alseep at night.

its what you

the only way to reply to this is with a nice loud RAWR!!

i wish i could scream into this thing
like it was my pillow
unfortunately my actual pillow doesnt do much good
trust me ive tried.
man just when i thought life was good
the past comes back for a second chance
damn dmandamndamndamndamdnamdnajsdnoisahfioeshbnoeitgsiehofisdnv
woo, now that thats out
i shall go now
to buy some pillows worthy of drowning out sound
nothing worth reading tonight,
buh byeee

hide the telephone, the telephone...

...the telephone in case you realize

living a life in a high frequency
turn it down, turn it down
can't hear myself scream.
funny how the past sticks to me
like a 'kick me' note,
like a thorn in my side
like a monkey on my back.
sick of rhymes and corny speeches
no more "i love yous" its just a waste of breath.
it's the prime example of the pathetic in this world.
he lives in a mind that just yells at him
"you don't know what you got until its gone"
lead me down the rabbit hole.
chat me something funny with a Cheshire cat.
let's just avoid you, you mad hatter.
of course life is no wonderland
but man is it a wonder.
living life in a high frequency
turn it down turn it down
happyhappy let me be
i don't want that urge, to yell, to scream...

.that sometimes its just not okay.
the song is Clumsy by Our Lady Peace
wow, i am COMPLETELY oblivious to the opposite
and none of the words mentioned the other day
will affect me whatsoever
hope all lives are well...
mine sure is, i wanna keep it that way :)

..can.i.pretend.you.never.said.that.?.!.
DeeaaTh ooF BeeaauuTy

if this is a test i'm losing my shit...

...if this is a test, i'm wasting my breath

he whispered words to those
who now wish they had no ears.
who'd now rather listen to the sweet melodies
of nails against the cold black chalkboard,
then the toxic phrases of "i will never leave."
...
lets call them the Lonelies
the Lonelies is the name,
of those who were conquered
by whatever "he" would say.
"he" is the name
of a tragic young man,
who was thwarted by love
and love's evil plan.
"he" never meant to torture
"he" was very kind at heart.
though charming and easy on the eyes
"he" just wasn't very smart.
"he" had no way to deal with words
scaring off anyone "he" pursued.
and when speaking with ladies
"he" came off as quite rude.
funny thing about "he"
he's no man, what a shame!
he's not at all a he
he's a hot, burning flame!
who has a fatal attraction
to certain candlestick dames!
some now hold their heads down
in grief and disdain.
because he'd melted their wax
what a shame what a shame..
i think this story is getting quite lame...
he loved the smooth wax
though he couldn't get close.
yet there was one young lady
he admired the most.
instead of a name
lets refer to her as "she"
tall and slender and perfectly sculpted
the prettiest candle on the scene.
he kept his distance,
but one tragic day
while he sat by his lonesome,
she walked up to the flame.
she went to his side,
too close yet felt fine.
she whispers to him,
"i love the way you shine."
he turned around yet turned away
he knew what he should fear.
hated by Lonelies and all that could melt
he didn't want her wax to shed a tear.
rejected by love she took another step,
towards the flaming glow.
slowly drops of wax started falling,
realizing he cried out "NO!"
she replies "i wish you to stay
and for once to be mine.
don't let me wallow,
make me bright, make me shine!"
before she could finish,
they collided as one.
then the story now ends,
they were one, they were done.
the others tried to stop them
to break them from falling apart.
but in the end nothing could get in the way of love
they had melted each others hearts.

.you're a stranger i know well, but not at all.

well that was fucked up
goodnight and comments are welcome to whatever readers i have
peace
-- DOB

money cant by happiness...

...many think the opposite

the same visions awaited me in dreams unimaginable
every night i could toss and turn
but could never find comfort in these sheets
comfort in my skin, in my mind, in my head.
take a look around
what am i supposed to see?
my mind is just so blurred
my conscience just yells at me.
keep your eyes to your toes
and leave your head in the clouds.
you don't know what you got until its gone
and you don't know smiles until its torn.
let me tug at the corners of your lips,
smile bright and shine for me.
but what goes up must come down...
and now i see them drowning.
oh it all works out so well,
until the fears of your past come back to haunt you.
i've seen it before and i'll see it again.
don't become the silhouette i see in the orange horizon...
leave me at a porch light
flickflickflicker and off they go..
to where i find comfort in these sheets
comfort in my skin, in my mind, in my head.

.if i had just one chance, i'd buy romance.

the bolded title and lyrics are Marriage to Millions by Cute Is What We Aim For
this is longer then others...
and makes absolutely no sense
bunches of thoughts and dreams
all compiled into one
hopefully when i look back on this ill actually know what i was talking about
andd now my eyes burn,
night to all
xxoo DoB